Soups

Soups: the life and soul

Tuesday, 21 May, 2013, 11:57am

Annie Holife@scmp.com

Soups are an important part of any Chinese meal. Being Shanghainese, I grew up with two-ingredient soups that were ready to be served after one hour of boiling: chicken and shiitake mushroom; pork and carrot; tomato and egg. But it is the Cantonese who have elevated soup-making to an art form, with exotic ingredients double-boiled for several hours.

In fact, soup serves as comfort food in many cultures: American chicken noodle soup, Mexican tortilla soup, Irish potato soup, Italian minestrone, and Vietnamese pho. I pulled off my bookshelf a handful of picture books that use the process of making soup to share a moral lesson.

A book toddlers will enjoy is Melissa Iwai's Soup Day, in which a mother and daughter buy vegetables, wash and chop them, then play together while the soup is being cooked. At the end, the father comes home and they share the soup.

My children love Maurice Sendak's Chicken Soup With Rice: A Book of Months. This poem about a little boy who loves chicken soup with rice throughout the year is often requested during reading in our home.

The making of the soup supersedes the eating in Betsy Everitt's Mean Soup, with the last page depicting mother and son standing over the stove, stirring a pot of soup together. After a bad day at school, Horace comes home feeling mean. But rather than scold him his mother invents a silly game to pull her son out of his bad mood.

Together, they take turns screaming into a pot of water on the stove and using the soup in other ways as an outlet for venting frustrations, until finally the soup boils and Horace smiles when his mother tells him they have just made Mean Soup. Everitt cleverly reminds parents that not every tantrum needs to be answered with a tiresome lecture about misbehaviour.

In Maryann Cocca-Leffler's Bravery Soup, Carlin a timid raccoon is tired of being fearful and asks Big Bear, the bravest animal in the forest, how to be brave. He shows the raccoon that bravery is developed from within oneself rather than being a trait that miraculously materialises when bestowed.

A devotee of East Asian culture, Jon J Muth has reinterpreted the classic folk-tale Stone Soup by using three travelling monks to show that sharing is the key to happiness. The monks find a Chinese village of mean-spirited inhabitants, and set out to enlighten them on the rewards of neighbourliness. The visitors put stones into a pot and announced they were making Stone Soup. The villagers were wary but their curiosity was piqued when the monks claimed a little garnish would produce a delicious stone soup. The villagers grew enthusiastic as they joined in the fray, and their perspective changed as they learned the value of teamwork.

In addition to being a soul-warming source of nourishment, soup is a metaphor for collaboration. Books about soups warm the soul, heart and mind.

Annie Ho is the board chairwoman of Bring Me A Book Hong Kong, a charity dedicated to improving children's literacy bringmeabook.org.hk

Pay It Forward

Pay it forward: Raising children who are 'bucket fillers'

Tuesday, 07 May, 2013 [UPDATED: 11:41]

Annie Holife@scmp.com

March was volunteer month in my family. It started with flag day, standing outside a shopping centre in Causeway Bay, soliciting donations for the Hong Kong Society for Rehabilitation. The traditional order of events was dropped by our children in favour of simultaneously soliciting and putting stickers on passers-by, in effect guilt-tripping them into opening their wallets.

The next weekend, we sold raffle tickets at the Dutch Chamber of Commerce annual ball. Our group of young volunteers accosted guests with gap-toothed grins and a ready spiel. They felt so proud of their accomplishment: raising tens of thousands of dollars in just one hour.

The other activity was having my children join me at my day job, donating shelves full of books to underserved communities. We set up a bookcase at a day care centre in Shau Kei Wan and read stories to curious two-year-olds.

Children have an underdeveloped sense of community and mutuality because they are born self-centred. My children will learn good manners and reciprocity at home and at school, but I also wish to instil in them the true meaning of giving. This can only come from feeling good about the mere act of generosity, regardless of tangible rewards.

[The true spirit of] giving is the unselfish concern for the welfare of people who can do nothing for you

But the strong sense of protocol and reciprocity in Asian cultures sometimes overshadows how we give. When someone shows you kindness by treating you to a meal or sending you a gift, there is pressure to reciprocate. It is this expectation that may affect who we choose as the recipient of our kindness. The true meaning of giving is the unselfish concern for the welfare of people who can do nothing for you.

An age-appropriate introduction to compassion is Carol McCloud's illustrated children's book Have You Filled a Bucket Today? Using invisible buckets to symbolise how our words and deeds affect ourselves and others, this guide illustrates ways in which we can become bucket-fillers to achieve happiness.

In the 2000 film Pay It Forward, Kevin Spacey plays a social studies teacher who asks his class to think of something to change the world and put it into action. One student (Haley Joel Osment) creates a mini-revolution in the lives of those around him with his idea to repay good deeds with new good deeds done to three new people.

Making time for volunteer work is a great complement to the journey of becoming a bucket filler.

I love the notion of paying it forward. My parents did volunteer work and contributed to their community in tireless and anonymous ways.

They made me aware of our interconnectedness with others by reminding me that paying it forward also happens with acts of meanness - if I am rude to a waiter, the waiter will feel bad and will go home and shout at his son, who will in turn feel bad and kick the family dog. It became an inside joke in our family to say, "Some poor dog will be getting kicked tonight" whenever we witnessed a "bucket dipper" in action.

This idea is also presented to great effect in B ecause Amelia Smiled, a new story by award-winning writer-illustrator David Ezra Stein. It shows how simple acts like smiling can spread joy across the world. ("Because Amelia smiled, Mrs Higgins smiled, too. She thought of her grandson in Mexico and baked some cookies to send him.")

Annie Ho is the board chairwoman of Bring Me A Book Hong Kong, a charity dedicated to improving children's literacy bringmeabook.org.hk

This article first appeared in the South China Morning Post print edition on May 07, 2013 as How a bucketful of kindness can inspire

Bucket-Filler

THIS IS MY ORIGINAL DRAFT SUBMITTED TO MY EDITOR, WHICH LATER BECAME THE ARTICLE POSTED IN THIS BLOG AS "PAY IT FORWARD":

With volunteer activities on three consecutive weekends, March turned into volunteering month in our family.

The first activity was Flag Day. We stood outside a shopping centre in Causeway Bay and solicited donations for the Hong Kong Society for Rehabilitation. The correct order of events should be: volunteer asks “please buy a flag sticker”, donor drops spare change in donation bag and volunteer puts sticker on donor’s lapel. In our case, our children simultaneously solicited and stuck stickers on passersby, in effect guilting these sticker-laden strangers into emptying their wallets.

Flag Day was the prelude to selling raffle tickets at the Dutch Chamber of Commerce annual ball. Our group of young volunteers enthusiastically accepted the challenge by accosting ballgoers with gap-toothed grins and a ready shpiel. They felt so proud of their accomplishment: raising tens of thousands of dollars in a mere 60 minutes.

It was also a good opportunity to practise math in everyday life. Question: At $100 per ticket or 6 tickets for $500, if a man gives you $1000 and asks for 6 tickets, how much change do you give back? Answer: Apologise for not having any change and sweetly ask whether he would like to have 12 tickets!

And the third activity was having my children join me at my day-job of donating bookcases to underserved communities. On this occasion, we set up a bookcase at a daycare centre in Shaukeiwan, and read stories to curious two year-olds.

Children have an under-developed sense of community and mutuality because they are born self-centred.  My children will undoubtedly learn good manners and reciprocity at home and at school, but I also wish to instill in them the true meaning of giving. This can only come from feeling good about the mere act of generosity, regardless of any tangible reward.

My personal view is that the strong sense of protocol and reciprocity in Asian cultures sometimes overshadows how we give. When someone shows you kindness by treating you to a meal or sending you a gift, there is cultural pressure to reciprocate. As a result, we also expect that our acts of kindness towards others will be reciprocated. It is this expectation that may affect who we choose as the recipient of our kindness. (And how this may set the tone for the Chinese concept of guanxi is something best left to the articulate and thoughtful Alex Lo in his page 2 column “My Take”.)

An age-appropriate introduction to compassion is Carol McCloud’s Have You Filled a Bucket Today? Using invisible buckets to symbolise how our words and deeds affect others as well as ourselves, this guide illustrates ways in which we can all become bucket-fillers to achieve happiness. “You fill a bucket when you show love to someone, when you say or do something kind, or even when you give someone a smile… You dip into a bucket when you make fun of someone, when you say or do mean things or even when you ignore someone.”

In the 2000 film Pay It Forward, Kevin Spacey plays a social studies teacher who assigns his class to think of something to change the world and put it into action. One of his students creates a mini-revolution in the lives of those around him with his idea to repay good deeds not with payback, but with new good deeds done to three new people.

I love the notion of paying it forward. I grew up with parents who do volunteer work and contribute to their community in tireless anonymous ways. They made me hyper-aware of our interconnectedness with others by reminding us that paying it forward also happens with acts of meanness; that is, if I am rude to a waiter, that will make the waiter feel bad and he will go home and yell at his son who will then feel bad and kick the family dog. This became an inside joke in our family, to say “some poor dog will be getting kicked tonight” whenever we witnessed a “bucket-dipper” in action.

The notion of interconnectedness is subtly presented in Because Amelia Smiled, a new story created by award-winning writer-illustrator David Ezra Stein. “Because Amelia smiled, coming down the street, Mrs. Higgins smiled, too. She thought of her grandson in Mexico and baked some cookies to send to him. Because Mrs. Higgins baked cookies…” And so the good feelings travel across the world, inspiring more smiles, kindness and love.

Making time for volunteer work is a great complement to the journey of becoming a bucket-filler.