Puberty - Supplementing What's Taught at School

My elder daughter has completed the Puberty segment of the health sciences curriculum that the Hong Kong Education Bureau requires all schools to teach to their fifth-graders. Her Longman General Studies textbook devotes less than 20 pages to this subject and uses large illustrations and even larger text. The curriculum is so general (literally "general" studies!) that I worry it will leave students with more questions than answers. And so, we have supplemented at home with these excellent non-fiction titles that contain age-appropriate details:

Robie H. Harris is the best-known author in this subject area and has sold millions of books. She has a whole series of books for various age groups. Her book, It's So Amazing, is stated as being suitable for children ages 7-10. It covers how babies are made, and is definitely not for reading alone because each page is filled with paragraphs of text and information. I would suggest reading it aloud to this age group only if the child is curious and has already begun asking questions. I believe this book may be easier to digest for children ages 10-12, to read with parents or alone.

Harris's book It's Perfectly Normal is for tweens, and covers changing bodies and sexual health. It elaborates on the subjects covered in the Hong Kong curriculum.

Kelli Dunham is a registered nurse AND a stand-up comic. The fifth editions of her two books, The Girl's Body Book and The Boy's Body Book, were just published last month and contain updated information relevant to tweens and teens in 2019 and beyond. Not only does Dunham cover physical changes and their accompanying emotions, she also writes chapters relevant to growing up in general. For example, she provides tips on study skills in the chapter "Your Changing Body in the Outside World", and shares advice on how to protect yourself from peer pressure and cyberbullying in the chapter "Staying Safe IRL and Beyond".

I love that her chapter on getting along with parents and siblings is titled "What Do These People Want From Me?" The tone of her books are casual conversational rather than laugh-aloud funny; she's wearing her "nurse's hat" to give tweens and teens the information they need to take care of themselves. I think the stand-up comic side of her helps enhance her connection with readers through her choice of language and the flow of the chapters.

American Girl's publications for girls, The Care & Keeping of You, are such a hit that there is also one for boys called Guy Stuff. Book 1 is for younger girls and is easy to read. The book is categorized by different parts of the body, starting from the head (braces and acne) to torso (underarms and breasts) and below (body shape & nutrition, pubic area & periods).

Because the two girl publications are mostly about physical changes, there is another book titled The Feelings Book that covers the complicated and ever-changing emotions of adolescents. It starts with "When you were little, your emotions were simple. You smiled when you were happy. You cried when you were scared or hurt," and goes on discuss being on an emotional roller coaster.

We don't have any American Girl dolls at home, and my daughters are not interested in dolls in general. All I know about this brand is that its dolls and accessories are super-expensive, so I didn't expect much from the "Smart Girl's Guide" series published by American Girl. My set is a hand-me-down from my girlfriend whose daughter loved it as a tween.

I've been reading these books with both my daughters, the younger one being only eight years old, and they are a hit in our home! The format is easy and direct, with simple language, and covers relevant topics like Drama, Rumors & Secrets. Other books in this series include Digital World, Friendship Troubles, Money, Worry, Sports & Fitness and Boys.

And finally, for girls aged 11 and older, HelloFlo: The Guide, Period. approaches puberty from an angle of empowerment. In addition to covering everything related to menstruation, including comparing the different products available, this book also explains all the other aspects of puberty. It's nice that the last chapter encourages girls to develop good friendships with other girls, and discusses the importance of girl power when girls stick together.

Was it really more than a decade ago that I read and re-read my dog-eared copy of What To Expect When You're Expecting? with all my highlights and Post-It tabs? Heidi Murkoff has so many other titles in this series, I wonder why she hasn't come out with a What To Expect The Teen Years?

Surfing the Internet, I see so many funny titles for real books on parenting teenagers:

Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall
Have a New Teenager by Friday
The Grown-Up's Guide to Teenage Humans
How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk
He's Not Lazy: Empowering Your Son to Believe in Himself
Dial Down the Drama: Reducing Conflict and Reconnecting with Your Teenage Daughter
Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle

I have not read any of these parenting books, because I hope that my current formula will continue to work: applying my Canadian humour when dealing with my kids + spending time with husband, friends and other adults + gin & tonics.

Teenage Daughters

For parents who are experiencing, enjoying, and/or preparing for life with teenage daughters:

Two non-fiction books on my To-Read list: Lisa Damour's "Untangled" and Peggy Orenstein's "Girls and Sex".

Five years ago, Orenstein wrote "Cinderella Ate My Daughter", which was perfect for me at that time because my elder daughter was in kindergarten and going through a loooong phase of wearing only pink. And now that my and the author's daughters are growing up, she has written this new book for parents of tweens and teens. All I can say is, I'm so glad there were no camera phones and social media platforms when I was a teenager. The crazy things my friends and I did (or were rumored to have done) faded in oral history, with the only possible recorded evidence being some random diary entry in curly cursive writing buried deep within boxes of old stuff that still haven't been thrown out.

"Untangled" goes through the seven stages that teenage girls go through: (1) parting with childhood, (2) joining a new tribe, (3) harnessing emotions, (4) contending with adult authority, (5) planning for the future, (6) entering the romantic world and (7) caring for herself.

Ultimately, I think it's about girl power, a strong parent-child bond and a family that focuses on what's inside rather than what's on the surface (or whatever is the image we want to present on social media).

Nothing screams girl power more than "Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls", by Elena Ravioli and Francesca Cavallo. A crowdfunding project recommended to me by a girlfriend who is raising her own little rebel girl, and illustrated by more than 60 female illustrators, this book is "the most-funded original book in the history of crowdfunding". These stories are actually one-page biographic tales of extraordinary women pioneers. There are the usual suspects such as Amelia Earhart, Helen Keller, Jane Goodall and Marie Curie. There are also less obvious additions like supermodel Alek Wek, rock star Joan Jett, ballerina Misty Copeland and architect Zaha Hadid. With stories of 100 women from around the world, what I appreciate most, in reading together with my daughters, is learning about women who are not household names (at least not in our household), including scientist and president of Mauritius Ameenah Gurib-Fakim, motocross racer Ashley Fiolek and elementary school student Coy Mathis.

"Funny Girl: Funniest. Stories. Ever." is a collection of laugh-aloud humor from some of the best children's writers today, including Cece Bell, Lisa Graff, Lenore Look and Raina Telgemeier. Published just in time for summer holidays, there's nothing more empowering and inspiring for young girls than seeing women entertain and delight audiences using the power of language and not their physical appearance.

While the above two books are great for reading aloud with the young ladies in your home, some books are best savored alone in a cozy book nook:

Off the top of my head, I can think of a dozen books featuring strong female protagonists. However, the two that I feel every teen should read are Gail Carson Levine's "Ella Enchanted" and Judy Blume's "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret".

"Ella Enchanted" resonates with me because I'm always conscious of Chinese parents' need to put obedience and good behavior above all else. Why, I often argue with my Hong Kong-raised husband, is a child a bad girl simply because she disagrees with her parents, or got up on the wrong side of the bed, or wants to be expressive by clanging on noisy toys? In this novel, Ella is put under a spell that compels her to be obedient: gift or curse? The above book cover is the 20th anniversary edition that is hot off the presses.

Judy Blume's book introduces pre-teens to the various topics surrounding sex and religion. Originally published in 1970, you can see that the current edition's book cover has been updated for the texting generation. When my daughters are old enough for this, my approach would be for them to read it first, and then we can have conversations about the story and the themes.

It's been six months since I last posted on this blog. All this talk of books and daughters has me dreaming of starting my own mother-daughter book club in a few years' time.

Happy Summer!

The Jungle Book

In anticipation of the premiere of the new film directed by Jon Favreau, I re-read some of Rudyard Kipling’s story collection, The Jungle Book. The first three stories are the ones about Mowgli, the human boy raised by wolves and living among animals in the jungle. I recently attended Diane Frankenstein’s workshops on how parents can help children get more out of what they’re reading by learning techniques on how to have meaningful conversations about books, and what really stuck in my mind is her maxim: “You can never come to a book too late, only too early.” The Jungle Book is certainly such a book.

I remember seeing Disney’s animated film version as a child, excitedly rushing to the library shortly afterward to borrow the book, and then quickly following it up with Kipling’s Just So Stories. The only thing that stayed with me after all these years is the general plot, with the impression made deeper by images from the loosely-interpreted film. After re-reading at my ripe old age of *ahem*, I can now fully appreciate Kipling’s genius in language and story-telling.

Kipling, an Englishman who lived in India, was an outsider like his character Mowgli. For The Jungle Book, he mined his personal experiences, including understanding two different worlds, in order to provide social commentary on good and evil, life and death, and civilisation itself. His stories were instant successes, and he was the first Englishman and youngest recipient of the Nobel Prize for Literature.

Many parents and teachers make the mistake of believing that a book about a 10 year-old boy should be read by 10 year-olds. While The Jungle Book may have delighted children in 1894 when it was first published, its use of lyrical nineteenth-century poetry and prose would be lost on most middle-schoolers today.

Mowgli is the boy raised by wolves, and Shere Khan is the tiger that wants him dead. In addition to these two central characters are other animal characters with human qualities that are either admirable or despicable. They include Baloo the bear, Kaa the snake, and Bagheera the panther. There is an abundance of symbolism that continues even when Mowgli returns to live with the humans in the village. He is conflicted about joining the villagers even though he is an outsider in the jungle.

What I’ve summarised is the plot of the three Mowgli tales, but there is so much more to The Jungle Book (and all good literature) than its plot. Within these morality tales are themes of loyalty, courage and belonging; these are important qualities that need to be understood by and discussed with children with the help of grown-ups. There are two unabridged versions newly published with beautiful illustrations: one by Nicola Bayley and the other by Minalima Ltd. Readers who can’t get enough of Mowgli can give Pamela Jekel’s The Third Jungle Book a try, as this author continues Mowgli’s adventures in the same style as Kipling.

Neil Gaiman is one of my favourite authors, and his bestselling The Graveyard Book can be enjoyed by children as young as ten. In this tale, Gaiman pays homage to Kipling by transforming the jungle setting to a graveyard setting. Just as Mowgli was raised in the jungle by animals, the protagonist here is a boy named Bod, who is raised by a motley crew of graveyard denizens. Gaiman is also a master storyteller. His inventive, contemporary style blends humour with humanity, and is appealing to readers of all ages.

Choosing Books

BETWEEN THE LINES

ANNIE HO

PUBLISHED : Tuesday, 01 December, 2015, 6:00am

UPDATED : Tuesday, 01 December, 2015, 6:00am

Hong Kong kids can benefit from reading quality books

Age-appropriate original tales will help build children’s literacy skills

Annie Ho
life@scmp.com

Numerous studies point to the same finding that children who love to read grow up to be more astute, aware, compassionate, resourceful and resilient than those who don’t read for pleasure. Parents and teachers should pause and give thought to what they want to accomplish in getting children to read.

Finding joy and comfort in reading is not the same as having aptitude for language and reading comprehension. Once we embrace the idea that the goal is to develop a child’s passion for reading, and that strong literacy skills are just a necessary by-product, then the path to achieve it will be clear.

Parents and teachers play important roles in children’s reading journey, by modelling the reading habit and providing easy access to quality children’s books.

Children whose book diet consists only of popular mass fiction may not develop the stamina, comprehension and concentration needed to tackle reading assignments in middle school and high school. A strong foundation laid with quality books during each stage of a child’s early years is needed in order for them to appreciate English literature studies, especially when it comes to reading genres outside their area of interest.

Literacy blooms wherever students have access to books they want to read, permission to choose their own, and time to get lost in them

NANCIE ATWELL, INAUGURAL WINNER OF THE GLOBAL TEACHER PRIZE

Few children rush at the chance to read Shakespeare’s Macbeth. Don’t give seven- year-olds an abridged version of this masterpiece in dull prose. Instead, give them age-appropriate original tales for about a decade, to help build up their literacy skills. When they finally approach Macbethat age 17, they will appreciate Shakespeare’s language and context, and reap so much more from the experience.

Nancie Atwell, inaugural winner of the Global Teacher Prize and a champion for classroom libraries, states, “Literacy blooms wherever students have access to books they want to read, permission to choose their own, and time to get lost in them. Enticing collections of literature – interesting books written at levels they can decode with accuracy and comprehend with ease – are key to children becoming skilled, thoughtful, avid readers.”

When it comes to choosing books for children, the simple rule is the same for any sales position: know your customer. Your child may already show a preference for certain styles: the illustrations of Diary of a Wimpy Kid, the animal world of Geronimo Stilton, or factual compendia from DK Publishing.

Rather than steer a child away from their preferred genre, an enabling adult can introduce quality books from the same genre: illustrated novels such as Ottoline, animal tales like Babe the Gallant Pig, and illustrated biographies from Peter Sis, such as Starry Messenger, the story of astronomer Galileo. And then add a sprinkling of other books on a multitude of topics, ready for the child to explore at his own pace.

A teacher or librarian who can guide reading choices is an invaluable asset when on the hunt for quality children’s books. If you don’t have access to such a godsend, there is a myriad of print and online resources: book guides from Anita Silvey, Jim Trelease and other literacy experts; book lists and recommendations from public libraries around the world; and web-based literacy programmes like Guys Read for boys and A Mighty Girl for girls. Simply entering book preferences and queries for book suggestions in search engines can yield hundreds of search results to explore. And with the advent of complicated algorithms to determine customers’ shopping preferences, online bookshops can also provide good suggestions.

It is pointless having a child zip through scores of entertaining but unmemorable books, or check the box on classic literature he’s not ready for or not yet interested in. The best sign that you’ve chosen an appealing and inspiring book is a child whois excited enough to re-read parts or all of the tale that he has just finished, and then asks for more books like it.

Annie Ho is board chair of Bring Me A Book Hong Kong (bringmeabook.org.hk), a non-profit organisation advocating for family literacy

Perspective

How to teach difference between words and thoughts (Inside Out helps)

PUBLISHED : Tuesday, 22 September, 2015, 4:02am

UPDATED : Tuesday, 22 September, 2015, 4:02am

Annie Ho life@scmp.com

Animated feature films have come a long way since Walt Disney's 1937 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. For films in the past two decades, the technical advances of animation are rivalled only by the increasing depth of storytelling.

Like many children and parents in Hong Kong and abroad, our family recently watched and loved the movie Inside Out. The plot is centred on an 11-year-old girl's move to a new city and school, and contains plenty of entertaining flashbacks. However, her anthropomorphic emotions are the stars of the show, and they are created with colours that sensibly match each of them well: red for Anger, green for Disgust, blue for Sadness, purple for Fear and yellow for Joy.

Despite Inside Out being my five-year-old daughter's second-ever movie experience, she managed to follow the storyline and even gain a better understanding of it than I expected. I was amused to hear her refer to the film when my elder one got testy about something. My daughter observed her big sister's bad temper and stated, "Oh, she's letting Anger take control at the front." Ironically, her big sister's takeaway from the film was apparently more superficial. For the past month, the only time she mentioned the film was when she asked to be dragged around our home by her ankles, just as Joy dragged around Sadness in the film.

This film is an ingenious way to help children learn that what one says is not necessarily a literal expression of what one is thinking or feeling, including they themselves. Understanding others' intentions, and feeling compassion and empathy for others as a result of such understanding, are both big milestones in a child's emotional development.

After seeing Inside Out, I couldn't help but compare it with Orit Gidali's picture book Nora the Mind Reader. A wonderfully inventive story that explains the nuances of communication to younger schoolchildren, it is translated from Gidali's original Hebrew, and is complemented by delightful mixed-media-collage illustrations.

When Nora comes home from school in an unhappy mood because a boy has called her "flamingo legs", her mother gives her a magic wand. Shaped like a bubble-blowing stick, the wand enables Nora to read people's minds when she peers through its circles. Nora takes the wand to school and begins to witness how thoughts and words can sometimes be very different.

For children in middle school to be aware of different perspectives, Rob Buyea tells an inspiring story with different narrators in Because of Mr Terupt. The new school year begins with the arrival of a new teacher, Mr Terupt. Seven of the fifth-graders in his class take turns narrating the story about this teacher's special ability to grasp the intentions behind these students' words and actions. These seven children have different backgrounds and distinct voices, which lend themselves to original storytelling when the plot thickens.

Stories help us learn about other people's lives. The bonus that comes with great children's literature is that such stories provide evocative language, vocabulary and descriptions, which we can then use when we want to express what is inside our head. When we convey our intentions and verbalise our thoughts in a clear and concise way, people who hear what we say or read what we write will understand us without confusion or frustration on either end. Ultimately, that's what most of us want from life: to be understood by others, and to make connections with others.

Annie Ho is board chair of Bring Me a Book Hong Kong bringmeabook.org.hk a non-profit organisation advocating family literacy

This article appeared in the South China Morning Post print edition as Of thoughts and words

Reading Fiction

Fiction unlocks a more meaningful world for young readers

PUBLISHED : Tuesday, 10 March, 2015, 6:06am

UPDATED : Tuesday, 10 March, 2015, 6:06am

Annie Ho life@scmp.com

My love of reading and all that I've gained from it define me as much as my relationship and life experiences. I am confident that my children will also be shaped by the books in their lives and by the rich reading environment in which they are being raised. However, my passion for reading also stems from learning about how reading can change brain development and enrich lives.

Three things I recently learned about reading have further fuelled this passion.

First, bigger vocabulary leads to faster thinking. Second, fiction allows readers to develop the so-called theory of mind. And third, bibliotherapy is not literature.

It is widely acknowledged that children who read for pleasure learn more words than those who do not. Daniel L. Everett, in his study of the Piraha people of the Amazon, took this a step further and examined the implications of a broader vocabulary. He found that the Piraha are able to recognise quantities despite not having any words for numbers or counting in their language. However, they had poor memory for quantities due to their lack of such terms. Words are basically labels. And when you can assign a label to a concept, your brain can better process, retain and retrieve that label. Therefore, it is posited that people with a broader vocabulary think more quickly. And building vocabulary by reading is much more enjoyable than through flash-cards.

Reading fiction has an effect on the brain that is not achieved with reading non-fiction. While a sports fan would gain information by reading a book on baseball history, they would gain more insight from W.P. Kinsella's Shoeless Joe. Fiction allows readers to be transported to the world inhabited by the books and gives a glimpse of environments and situations they have not experienced.

Fiction also offers readers an opportunity to be privy to the thoughts and feelings of others.

A recent study showed that young children who were read stories developed a keener theory of mind than those who weren't. It concluded that "there was substantial overlap in the brain networks used to understand stories and the networks used to navigate interactions with other individuals".

Theory of mind is the capacity of the brain to figure out the intentions and feelings of others; it is different from empathy. Although both help us to identify with another person, the perspective is different. When I see a homeless man and think, "I can imagine how I would feel if I were in his shoes", I am feeling empathy. On the other hand, I have theory of mind when my thought process delves deeper, "I can imagine how it feels to be him in his shoes". The former approach is to consider the plight of the homeless man; the latter approach is to understand his view of the world based on his experiences, fears and dreams.

While theory of mind is a recent discovery for me, my new word of the moment is bibliotherapy - a term I learned from Diane Frankenstein at her recent reading workshops. In the world of children's books, bibliotherapy is a genre created for the purpose of teaching a single subject. Not surprisingly, such books are simplistic in plot and characterisation. Picture books about going to the dentist, starting school and good manners fall into this genre.

In contrast, quality children's literature uses words and illustrations that help readers make sense of the world. The best examples bring many layers to a story, and allow readers to make inferences about multiple themes. It's up to parents to expose children to quality literature so that they can express themselves with a broad vocabulary and developed theory of mind. In doing so, they can help their children grow up to be happy, balanced people.

To better equip parents for this great challenge, Bring Me A Book Hong Kong has launched The Read-Aloud Collection, a new guide to the best English books for children, from babies to teenagers. To download, go to bringmeabook.org.hk

Annie Ho is board chairwoman of Bring Me A Book Hong Kong

This article appeared in the South China Morning Post print edition as Heads-up on the theory of mind

Children's Books about Father and Child Bond

Between the lines: stories build bonds between father and child

PUBLISHED : Tuesday, 03 June, 2014, 10:51am

UPDATED : Tuesday, 03 June, 2014, 10:51am

Annie Holife@scmp.com

My husband is great with children and has a good rapport with them. Nevertheless, hanging out with young ones isn't his idea of a relaxing and fun time.

Asked to pick between two weekend activities, nine times out of 10 he would choose the one that didn't involve children, neither our own nor those of our friends. He relishes weekends spent in the company of adults.

Even though my husband brought welcome balance to my weekends as I joined him in these activities, he often found himself apologising to hyper-parents for his "behaviour".

I consoled him by noting that there is no study to show that helicoptered kids, or kids with parents who are constantly present, grow up to be happier or more successful.

He found comfort in my summaries of the hundreds of parenting-related articles that I had read, many of which dissected this recent concept of parents existing for the sake of children.

While my husband's parenting views have not changed much from the time we brought home our first child, I can see that he is now enjoying spending more time around children as ours grow older. And through all this quality time spent together in harmony, each member of our family is beginning to see the developing father-child bond.

Froggy's Day with Dad is a laugh-aloud story that will appeal to toddlers. It details Father's Day for Froggy and his dad, in the same style as the other books in Jonathan London's popular Froggy series.

Anthony Browne's Gorilla, about a father who never has time for his daughter, will resonate with many Hong Kong dads. This beautifully presented story will make fathers everywhere put down their smartphones when they see how a child wishes for her dad's time and attention.

The Day I Swapped My Dad for Two Goldfish is also about a father who "doesn't pay much attention to anything". So while dad is reading his newspaper, the protagonist swaps him for his best friend's two goldfish, which he had been coveting.

Presented in the form of a graphic short story, this is a well-loved tale by Neil Gaiman, creator of the comic book series The Sandman. Gaiman is a prolific author who is able to transcend age groups and genres to find fans aged between five and 95.

For truth stranger than fiction, Martin Jenkins' The Emperor's Egg tells the true story of male emperor penguins in simple, engaging and sing-song language. The devotion of father penguins is shown through the emperor penguin breeding cycle in this award-winning natural history book.

After mother penguin lays her egg, father penguin stands around keeping the egg warm and protected for two months, in the bitter Antarctic cold.

Middle-school children who don't mind a little darkness and sadness will loveThe Mouse and his Child by Russell Hoban. Perfect for reading aloud, this masterpiece is about a mechanical father mouse and his son who are joined as a single clockwork toy. When their wind-up mechanism breaks, they are thrown out and torn apart.

They embark on a dangerous quest to return to the beautiful doll's house they once inhabited, and to become independent, that is, "self-winding". This book was the first full-length novel by Hoban, who is best known for his Frances the Badger series for young children.

Japanese company Sanrio made an animated feature film starring Peter Ustinov, and the Royal Shakespeare Company recently presented its stage adaptation of this classic.

Fathers who worry that The Mouse and his Child is too violent for their children should just read this magical tale for themselves. It is full of memorable characters and philosophy. A heart-warming affirmation of the tender love between father and child, it may remind fathers of their own fathers.

Annie Ho is board chairwoman of Bring Me a Book Hong Kong, a nonprofit organisation dedicated to improving children's literacy by reading aloud to them. Visit breingmeabook.org.hk

This article appeared in the South China Morning Post print edition as Stories build bonds between father and child

Books Transforms Lives (2)

Between the lines: reading aloud with children can transform their lives

Annie Holife@scmp.com

If I were to ask you how important is it for a student to read well, you would say it was very important. But people seem less convinced when it comes to the importance of parent-child read-aloud. I suspect that reading aloud is viewed as a leisure activity on par with taking one's children to musical shows or going on a family nature walk.

It wasn't until I started working with Bring Me A Book that I learned that, the lower the socioeconomic class of the child, the bigger the impact of reading aloud.

Parent-child read-aloud will certainly enhance a middle-class child's development; but for underprivileged families, this activity transforms lives.

There have been many studies into how linguistic patterns used in middle-class homes differ from those used in low-income homes. One study found that parents in low-income homes used imperative statements, while those in middle-class homes used discrete interrogative questions.

Middle-class families use the same language patterns as schools, so their children develop the skills needed to learn the way that schools teach.

More than one study has reinforced the finding that children of professional parents hear 30 million more words by age three than children from low-income households.

Language patterns and vocabulary are connected to reading comprehension, so low-income children face increased challenges once they enter school and start learning to read.

When low-income parents spend a few minutes each day reading aloud to their children, they provide opportunities for vocabulary-building, questions and discussions.

English parish priest Jay MacLeod conducted detailed research on how poverty is perpetuated. Ain't No Making It chronicles his relationships with a dozen young men from the same public housing development that spanned 25 years.

One of his conclusions is that character and behaviour are greater determinants of success than academic achievement, for the simple reason that it takes a lot more than IQ to stay away from drugs and crime in that kind of neighbourhood.

Paul Tough's How Children Succeed is a more appealing read on a similar train of thought. Tough criticised early childhood education's emphasis on cognitive skills (reading, writing, arithmetic) as he pointed to extensive findings that children with good non-cognitive skills (self-motivation, self-control, self-awareness) were the ones who fared better in adult life.

One study that Tough shared in his book found a high correlation between childhood stress and trauma on the one hand, and depression and anxiety disorders in later years.

Another study showed the importance of parental attachment: parents who were responsive produced securely attached children, and such attachment created psychological effects that last into adulthood.

A third study concluded that any lasting impact of childhood stress and trauma can be erased by strong parental attachment.

When low-income parents spend a few minutes each day reading aloud to their children, they will be providing opportunities for cuddling and dissolving stress.

The philosophy behind parent-child read-aloud is about so much more than just books. It is about connecting families and communities. It is about how parents can help their children succeed in life in ways that are much more effective than making sure they get good grades.

All of this scientific research is humanised in Wes Moore's The Other Wes Moore.

The author is an exemplary contributor to society who discovered another Wes Moore languishing in prison. Both came from the same poor black neighbourhood, were the same age, and grew up in single-parent families.

He contacted the other Wes Moore and examined how their similar pasts led them down different paths.

The author believed it was his mother's attachment parenting that helped develop his character and keep him from a life of crime.

When it comes to school readiness, kindergartens need to focus less on drilling cognitive skills and more on developing non-cognitive skills.

Until kindergarten curricula are reformed to reflect this, parents need to be aware of how small changes in their daily home life can transform their children's future.

Annie Ho is board chairwoman of Bring Me a Book Hong Kong, a non-profit organisation dedicated to improving children's literacy by reading aloud to them bringmeabook.org.hk

This article appeared in the South China Morning Post print edition as When reading aloud transforms lives

Seven is the New Eleven: Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, Anthony Horowitz, Encyclopaedia Brown, Ramona Quimby, Jacob Two-Two, Junie B. Jones

---

Guiding children and book choices

Sunday, 16 September, 2012, 12:00am

Annie Hofamilypost@scmp.com

Today's children continue to astonish me with their maturity, no matter what age they are. One example is the reading preferences of young adults, which I learned about from my friends' children during my summer holiday in Canada.

I have been recommending parents read aloud Mary Norton's The Borrowers to the six to 10-year-old crowd, but it turns out that my friends' eight-year-olds are already breezing through
Harry Potter and The Hunger Games, two young adult fiction series more appropriate for children over 10.

My friends were nonchalant about their children reading such macabre tales, although they wouldn't allow them to watch the movie versions of these stories due to their graphic visual scenes.

The boy who recently read The Hunger Games also effortlessly ploughs through three books a day. When I asked about his favourite author, he didn't hesitate to name Anthony Horowitz.

Horowitz is known for a series of spy novels about a boy named Alex Rider. The murder, intrigue and evil villains in this series are no different from the plots of adult spy thrillers, except the lead character is 14.

My first reaction is that Alex Rider is more sophisticated than Ramona Quimby, Jacob Two-Two and Encyclopedia Brown from stories I read when I was eight.

As parents, when do we step in and tell our children what they can and cannot read? And who are we to say what content is appropriate or inappropriate for our child's age?

For starters, we can all agree that children should not be permitted to read novels that are sexually explicit or extremely violent.

But when we consider the slippery slope argument, I can't help but wonder whether parental guidance extends to also banning books that offend our personal taste?

For example, a number of my friends roll their eyes when discussing their daughters' adoration for Barbara Park's Junie B. Jones series. Widely popular for children just starting to read chapter books, it is written in the first person through the eyes of an ill-mannered six-year-old, complete with poor grammar and "kiddie" vocabulary.

The following excerpt from Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus is typical of the language that can be found in this series of books.

"I used red. But then a mistake happened. I made my JUNIE too big and there wasn't any room left for my B. And so I had to squish it very teeny at the bottom. 'I hate this stupid dumb circle!' I hollered," writes Park.

We don't want our children to emulate the behaviour of naughty Junie in the same way that we fear our children will be negatively influenced by the violence of The Hunger Games.

But one of the tenets of reading with children is to let them take the lead. When they choose the book, they will be more engaged. This will hopefully improve their interest in reading, and lead to more of it.

Perhaps we just need to accept that our children are growing up faster than our generation did (and my theory for why this is the case can extend to many columns).

This way, we will be more relaxed when we see that they are choosing to read some of the same stories we have read, even if they are reading them at an earlier age than us.

If 40 is the new 30 among my girlfriends, then it seems that, for the new generation of children, seven is the new 11.

Then again, there's no harm in subtly guiding our children towards a greater variety of books, or ones that we ourselves love, or believe are good for them.

After all, we hone our craft of manipulation-in-the-guise-of-guidance in all aspects of our children's lives, from what they eat to what hobbies they take up.

Annie Ho is chairwoman of Bring Me A Book Hong Kong bringmeabook.org.hk a non-profit organisation devoted to improving children's literacy through reading aloud to them and providing easy access to the best children's books for underserved communities in Hong Kong